How to plan your own funeral

It’s one of life’s biggest events, if not the biggest. It’s the only one we can’t avoid, yet many of us either avoid talking about it until it’s too late, or don’t think about our own funerals until we're coming to the end of our lives.

Making plans for your funeral now will help your friends and relatives. At a time of great distress and upset, they will be able to make important decisions about celebrating your life in meaningful ways. You could think of it as your last act of kindness. 

Some people ask if it is ‘weird’ to plan your own funeral. It’s a completely natural thing to do – it’s just that most people don’t know it’s an option. 

A funeral director can help you to think about your options. They can provide free advice about planning your own funeral and ways of paying for it.

In thinking about your funeral wishes, it can be helpful to think about your values and what’s important to you and write these thoughts down. This is known as advance care planning – in Scotland it’s called future care planning.

This planning ahead tool offers a step-by-step guide to help you think about and record some of the choices you might want to make about treatment and care at the end of life. 

You could follow a theme that reflects your interests, like sports, bikes or knitting! You can choose a natural setting for your burial, or have a service in the great outdoors. Your funeral director can help with this. 

You might like to tell your family and friends about your funeral wishes.

You may find that after talking through your funeral wishes with others that you end up with something very different from your initial ideas: this is OK - the choice is yours. Your funeral director will also be glad to help.

You could share copies of your worksheet with them so that they have a record of this information. If you have decided to use a funeral director then they can help to share your wishes with people who are important to you and others such as your solicitor. 

Remember to think about what you would like to happen to your digital estate.

This means things like your videos on Instagram, blogs that you may have created or photos you have stored online.

The Digital Legacy Association can help with advice on making plans for your digital estate, including what to do about passwords. 

Keep your completed funeral wishes worksheet or email somewhere safe and secure and let people know where they can find it. Make sure they know about any changes you make to your plans. 

The information about your funeral wishes is personal and you should think of it as a guide for others. It is not a will – you will need to speak to your solicitor to arrange one. Your funeral wishes are not legally binding – this means that someone is not legally obliged to carry out your funeral instructions, but usually personal wishes are followed.