Cultural traditions around death

“To be around family and loved ones. To pray for the deceased which will help them in the hereafter (gives peace knowing how ever much we pray helps) and feel connected.”

“I don’t find any of my faith practices necessarily mega meaningful to me. I have conflictive relationship with my faith at the moment but from a personal point, to me, going and visiting the grave, bringing flowers and lighting a candle gives me a sense of comfort. 

“Also, remembering and talking about someone who died and really celebrating their life is important. Keeping memories alive.”
 

“I'm not really sure if I believe in the instant burial of someone, although I know it's a tradition in Islam. I think the time lapse between death and funeral is quite important to allow you to say your goodbyes.

“In my culture, depending on the person's wishes and on how they died, it's normal to have an open casket. I always remember it from being a child – it’s always open at the person's wishes. It was always like that. 

“I do think it’s important to see the body because having your friends and family who didn't view it is come back to hit them and they said kind of like I wish I'd seen her one more last time. So we're not egging anybody to do it, but in between death and the funeral, if they can view it, it’s encouraged, even if it’s where they go and rest for the week. One of those visits might help them along the way because people sometimes don't want to see.

“And then you see them a few months later at the graveside, crying because they didn’t get to see them one last time.

“I think it's really important because it gives people a sense of closure.”
 

“Allowing people to grieve and remember deceased with charity and prayers helps faithful to believe that there is peace for deceased in afterlife. Also that there will be chance to meet deceased after one’s own death, as soul is everlasting and not body.”

“Openly grieving. In my culture, the funeral home - home of the deceased person becomes a central place for the entire experience of death. It can be overwhelming to see and hear family openly crying and mourning, but it also allowed for the small breaks in the cloud for family to reconnect and regain value of what’s important.”

“At the funeral, one of the most vivid memories I have is the number of people who shook my hand in condolence. There were (and this is not uncommon) hundreds and local lads got high vis jackets on to manage the traffic. I was even advised not to wear rings, as my hand would become sore from the sheer volume of handshakes. This simple gesture represents something profound about the Irish approach to death: it is not something to be faced alone. There is an outpouring of support, a collective recognition of loss, and a shared responsibility to hold each other through grief.

“For me, the cultural traditions and faith practices surrounding death in Ireland are meaningful because they emphasise connection - both to the person who has died and to the wider community. They remind us that in the face of loss, we are not alone.”
 

“I actually like the Church of England funeral service, I think it has wonderful language. It contains powerful images and ideas. It's really full on – it makes you think about the materiality of death and of the reality of death. I think it's very sort of cathartic. So I might even have that at my own funeral – I haven't decided!”

“I am not sure if it's cultural or part of any faith, but I really admire people who are able to talk openly about death, even though it's hard having some acceptance in their life on that topic and then the experience of it. I would say it's an intention and it's a choice to get closer to that before it comes to us. I'm really inspired by those people.”

“The spirit of remembrance through Day of the Dead is helping to spark important conversations and to meet many people’s different needs, views and contexts around death awareness, end of life, grief, remembrance – and even pet death. The power of this practice is such, that it is being embraced by many diverse religious and non-religious Mexican and non-Mexican communities beyond Mexico, in Latin America, the USA, the UK and across the world.”

• What’s a thing that has most surprised you about the way someone you know has approached death and dying?
• How do you think we as people are drawn together by death and dying, regardless of culture or faith?
• Do you remember when the concept of death was first introduced to you as a child? How did your family’s beliefs/faith shape that experience?
• Do you have a concept of the afterlife, and has this changed as you’ve grown older? 
• How have you seen different cultures handle funerals? More importantly than the differences, what do you think all funerals have in common? Why do we humans value these rituals so highly, across cultures?
• Does your own experience of bereavement, or witnessing it in others, make it easier to think or talk about death, or will it always be hard?
• When we talk about “the culture of death and dying” - what does that mean to you? Is your understanding of death and dying always influenced by your faith, background or nationality, or is it more of a personal thing?