Coping with Pet Loss

Information on how to support yourself through the grief of losing a pet. 

Losing a pet can feel just like losing a part of your family. 

It can be incredibly sad, and sometimes it feels like nobody really understands how hard it is, which can make it feel even lonelier.

In this page, we'll share where to find people who understand, and how to take care of yourself while you grieve. 

It's okay to feel a wide range of emotions during this time. 

You might feel sad, angry, or even guilty. You may feel you need some time away from work, which around 1 in 4 people do. And just like any other kind of grief, it can affect your body too, making it hard to eat, sleep, or do everyday things. You might even feel sick or achy.

Some simple coping strategies to help you through the grieving process:

• Allow yourself time to be sad. It's okay to cry and be upset. It can help to talk about your pet with someone you trust. There's no rush to feel better. 
• Create a Memorial: Consider creating a special memorial to remember your pet, such as a photo album or a box filled with their favourite toys. You may want to scatter their ashes, say a prayer, or simply take some time to remember them.
• Distract yourself if needed. Sometimes, it helps to take a break from feeling sad too. You could go for a walk with a friend or watch your favourite TV show to give yourself a little break.
• Keeping them close: After the initial shock wears off,  you might want to look at ways to feel connected to your pet. Photos and keepsakes can be really lovely and can make you feel like your pet is still close. Or you might like to plant something new in their favourite garden spot.
• Donate in Memory: Giving to others has been proven to help our wellbeing. You may consider making a small donation to a pet charity in their honour. 
• Dealing with signs of depression: The shock and pain of losing a pet can impact our mental health. Negative feelings are natural while grieving, but if you feel that these emotions are affecting your day-to-day life or if you’re concerned that you may be depressed, then talk to your family, friends, and your GP. 

Losing a pet can be really hard for children. It might be the first time they've ever had to say goodbye to someone they love. And it can be really hard for them to understand what has happened to their pet. 

It's important to be honest with them, but in a way that that is age appropriate. Using phrases like "put to sleep" or "gone to live somewhere else" can be confusing. They might think their pet is just taking a nap or that they've done something wrong to make their pet want to leave. It's better to tell them the truth in a gentle way that they can grasp.

If your child is feeling sad or upset, it's good to let them know that it's okay to feel that way. You can say something like, "I know you're really sad, and that's okay. I'm sad too." It's important to show them that their feelings are valid and that you're there to support them through this tough time. There are dedicated books for explaining pet loss and grief to children which may help. 

Helplines 

• Pet Bereavement Support Service (PBSS) Freephone - 0800 096 6606 Email - pbssmail@bluecross.org.uk
• PDSA National Collection of Pet Memories Freephone 0800 591248
• Cat's protection "Paws to listen" free and confidential grief support service Freephone - 0800 024 94 94 

Books 

• Missing my pet” by Alex Lambert
• “Absent Friend: Coping with the loss of a treasured pet” by Laura and Martyn Lee
• “Companion Animal Death” by Mary F Stewart
• “A Loving Farewell” by Davina Woodcock
• “Goodbye, Dear Friend” by Virginia Ironside