'I put my own emotions aside at Christmas'

Annemarie, a healthcare assistant at Wakefield Hospice, is one of those people. She’s worked at the hospice every Christmas Day for the past 24 years, giving her time to be with patients and their families, and making what may be their last Christmas together as special as possible.

While many of us are enjoying quality time with our own families, Annemarie describes what it’s like for families at a hospice, where incredible care doesn’t stop for the holidays.

“I just love working Christmas Day. I’m giving something back really, because people here, in the hospice… they don’t have an option. They come into the hospice and it may be their last Christmas; they've not got a choice to be at home. So if I can make it as special as I can for them, then that's why I do it.

“It's probably a little bit easier for me than some other nurses, because I've no children. I've always been used to working on Christmas Day – when I worked for the NHS I always volunteered for Christmas. My husband's always understood that my nature of work involves going in at Christmas – although he doesn’t mind, because that means he can go fishing! When my parents were alive, I saw them after work. They always understood that. 

“My job is a 24 hour service. I don't mind. It's part of my job and it's what I do."

“On Christmas morning I get up, and I start thinking about what I might face during the day. Is there going to be the possibility of someone dying? That’s one big thing on my mind. I think, how am I going to get through the day with that family? 

“But I have to put myself and my own emotions aside and just think of them.

“I'm mindful of that when I come into work, you never know what each day will bring – and that includes Christmas day too. We could have people with young children – that can be particularly challenging at this time of the year.

“It’s often those memories, of families with young children, that stick with me."

“I remember one family who were in at Christmas. We had set the family room up with all the trimmings for Christmas. But dad was dying. And they had three young children – they were very young. It was difficult but at the same time I knew our job was to give them a special Christmas – one to remember for the right reasons, no matter the situation they found themselves in. I can still get emotional when I think about them today. 

“They were a lovely family. 

“We managed to get dad out of bed into the room, with mum, and they all had Christmas dinner together. The three little ones were just playing with all the toys and wrapping paper, and it was just like normal, like being at home. That was so special.”

“We make it as nice as we can for the patients the night before. We put up two lovely trees, and the night staff will put a Christmas present on each locker to make sure that each patient has got something nice to wake up to. Last year, we made little Christmas trees for their lockers too, which was quite special.”

“On Christmas morning, I always get in early – around 6.45am – so that the night staff can leave a bit earlier, and go home to spend time with their families.

“The first thing I do is wish a Happy Christmas to everyone I work with. We exchange a little present to each other, which is a nice start to the morning. And we'll put carols on, so we've got that Christmas feeling – we’re all in it together.

“We invite families to come and join us on Christmas Day so that they can have Christmas lunch and a drink with their loved ones whilst ensuring we are catering to each person's needs – it's like a fine balancing act. 

“We'll make sure that if there's any young children here with their families, we get them a little selection box so that there's something that they can take away with them.

“Families can decorate their rooms for Christmas Day. They might bring some sentimental photos, a little Christmas tree with battery lights, or Christmas blankets, so they can make it as nice a Christmas as they can. 

“It’s just so special…to give them time together so that they can come and open presents as a family.

“Christmas lunch is lovely. Everyone gets a Christmas cracker, and we lay tables out in the family room. If people are well enough to sit there, they can have their Christmas dinner with the family. If not, they can have it in their room. It's just lovely.”

“I love going around the rooms to wish everyone ‘Merry Christmas’ – you know, the normal things you would do at this time of year. I have to be considerate because some patients may not be in a position to celebrate, as much as a joyous day Christmas is for many, for others in the hospice it can be really emotionally challenging. But I still try and make it as nice as possible for them – it’s difficult, but I have to be mindful of other patients that are still well enough to enjoy Christmas Day.

“My favourite part of the day is when I go in to see a patient, and I see the look on their face. Because on Christmas Day, we might have some silly Christmas headwear on, like antlers! They look at us and you can just see their face light up. 

“When I wish them Merry Christmas, they say, ‘is it…ohh thank you, love. Thanks for doing this.’

“I feel humbled to think I've done something right for that family and that patient – especially when I think this could be their last Christmas.

“Sometimes a patient doesn’t have any visitors, because they don't always have family. But I can give them my time, and spend it with them so that they’re not alone. That’s really special. 

“It's just a lovely atmosphere. I don't mind working Christmas Day at all. People might think that it's a really sad time, but it isn't. It's a day to remember for the families. We all make it as special and memorable as we can. 

“When I finish my shift at 3pm, it’s family time. I'll go home and have a bath, and chill out. Then with my husband we'll go to my sister’s. We have a lovely Christmas meal and play games and that's my day.”

“Every role at the hospice is incredibly important and plays an equally important part in people's care at Christmas.

“From catering to the domestic team, the reception and nursing teams, to the volunteers, we're all a team and we all work together and support each other.

“Volunteers come in on Christmas Day, giving up their time for nothing. To do that on Christmas Day – to give that precious time up – is so special. I really value it.

“But it is emotional. We're not robots. I think it it's hard at times, but I work with a good team, and we can help and support each other. If I feel I need a bit of time out, I can go and get a drink and take a break. We’re mindful to look after each other as staff, as well as patients, and care for each other.”

Thank you to Annemarie for sharing her story.