Helping kids deal with death

Walking in nature, you can see the plants growing and then at some point they go back to the Earth making room for new life. It's like a big circle of life showing us how everything is connected and that life changes.

I'm here in the grounds of Dorothy house Hospice Care, near bath, and there is so much nature here. They've opened a unique nature trail to the public which they hope will reduce people's anxiety about death.

A hospice is a place where people who are very sick or nearing the end of their lives can receive care and support they're designed to be peaceful and patients are made to feel as comfortable and pain-free as possible. Hospices also help their families. 

Joining me on the trail today is Lucy. Her dad, Kevin, had cancer and came to stay in the hospice during his final days.

So what would you say is your favourite part of the ground?

My favourite area would probably be the fireflies because each one is dedicated to a different person who have died here. So last February my dad died here and when they put in the new fireflies, one's dedicated to him so it's really nice to just be alone in the woods and be able to grieve him.

How did the hospice help you personally?

They did so much I mean before he even died we spend hours in craft rooms making different bows plates and it's nice to just be able to look at them and remember everything we did together and then after he died I was still receiving counselling but then I also got offered to go to teen groups it's just nice to be able to have someone to talk to who is there to know what I'm going through.

Did people want to talk about your dad and what you've been through?

Most people were very hesitant they didn't want to make me upset or bring up something when they thought it might trigger me.

I'm here with Julia Davidson who is Lucy's counsellor. So how important is it that we know how to talk about death?

It is really really important especially for younger people to have been exposed to the kind of language we use around death there are lots of things that you probably shouldn't be saying such as or it will get easier or you need to stay strong now you'll be fine those sort of things are really not very helpful but saying look I'm really sorry what do you need you know do you want to to talk about it everybody deals with it differently and that's why it's so important to continue talking to them and sort of finding out where they're at with their emotions.

So we're finishing our walk under this amazing tree isn't it weird that like trees live longer than us?

I know like these have been around for hundreds of years. Trees are often associated with the memory of loved ones although they cannot be seen we
know they are still there.

With your dad's death do you believe that?

Yeah, I mean they're not here but they're still with us.

Yeah, it feels like that because you have all these memories of them so it feels like you know they're still there with you.

Yeah, for you they're still there they're still in your everyday life.