I've been bereaved
We know losing a loved one is life-changing, and there's no perfect way to grieve.
Recognising this impact, we want to make accessing support simple for you.
On this page, you'll find resources and links to explore at your own pace. Remember you're not alone, and help is available.
Understanding grief
Grieving is personal, and there's no right or wrong way.
While everyone's experience is unique, understanding common stages can help us know what to expect and reduce feelings of isolation.
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Immediately after a death, it can be hard to believe that it has really happened. People can feel numb or even deny the truth.
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Profound sadness is probably the feeling most people experience after a death. It is normal to cry and to feel empty, desolate or deeply lonely.
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People often feel guilty about things they did or didn’t do, or did or didn’t say while the person was alive.
They may also feel guilty about some of their own feelings, if they are relieved that someone has died after a long illness, or if they are now relieved of the burden of caring. Or if they didn’t much like the person who has died.
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Even if no one was actually at fault for the death, grief can make people angry and resentful about their loss and what they are being made to feel.
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Death can trigger a host of worries and fears. People can feel anxious, helpless or insecure. They may even have panic attacks and be fearful of new things.
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Grief is not just an emotional process. People can also experience tiredness, nausea, weakened immune system, weight loss or gain, aches and pains and insomnia.
Processing grief
Grieving is unique to each person, and despite what we may have been told, there is no set timeline.
Even after a long time of adapting to our new reality, unexpected moments of grief can be triggered by sounds, smells, or memories, especially on significant dates.
It's important to remember that grief is a natural process, not an illness. While it can be incredibly painful, the majority of people recover without professional help. The processing of grief involves tasks like accepting the loss, feeling our emotions, adjusting to a changed environment, finding ways to remember our loved one, and rebuilding our beliefs. These tasks are not in a specific order and can be revisited as needed.
"The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to."
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Swiss-American psychiatrist and author (1926-2004)
Taking time away from work
Your line manager will likely be your primary support. They should meet with you to discuss appropriate adjustments, such as time off for funeral arrangements or legal matters as well as time to grieve your loss itself.
Use this meeting to share any wishes you have, like what if anything will be told to your colleagues and how you would like to keep in touch while you're away.
Your manager should be able to tell you what the company policy is for time away from work and any other support offered.
Returning to work after bereavement
Returning to work after a loss can be difficult. It can be helpful to let colleagues know if you'd like to talk about what has happened. If it's too hard for you, ask a manager or colleague to share any details on your behalf.
Consider ways to make it easier to ease back into work, like returning at the end of the week or part-time initially. Most people prefer to be treated normally, and work can sometimes be a welcomed distraction from our grief.
However, it's completely normal if your grief affects you at work. Many share they struggle to concentrate or focus at work after a bereavement. You may also have physical or mental symptoms to cope with. If you're struggling, let your manager and colleagues know and ask what accommodations can be made to support you, such as flexible working arrangements or temporarily reducing your workload.
You can find additional support resources in the useful links section, including how to access specialist support.
When to seek help
Complicated grief, though not an illness, can make it challenging to move forward with our grief. Most people learn to cope with their grief within 18 months to two years, but if your grief is still impacting your day-to-day life—sleep problems, poor appetite, or depression—seek help from your GP.
Don't wait until it's desperate; there is no shame in asking for help. If your employer has an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), you can use the confidential helpline for advice or to arrange face-to-face counselling sessions. There are also many specialist organisations that can offer free support. Check with your HR team for all the available options.
Compassionate Employers signpost to a range of helplines and online communities that provide specialist support, often at no cost.